Sorry for the delay

I'm so sorry for not updating this earlier .... Hope everyone had a great Christmas.

Got through the chemo okay, and was able to go home on Christmas day. Yipee!
Next few days were okay ... had bouts of nausea that the pill took care of, and today felt tired (to be expected). I need to drink more fluids, haven't been doing a good job on that (shame on me), but have been able to eat a little. Had to take another anti-nausea pill today (Sunday), hoping that things will mellow out as the days pass, which they should. Few other minor things that I won't go into, but manageable. The only thing that will keep hitting me will be fatigue, but I've gotten pretty good at napping.

Next appointment is Tuesday (sweet Paige will take me in to cancer center and back depending if I need transfusion or not), when I get blood work, and doc visit. That should give me (I hope), at least what will be going on next week. It would be nice to get a tiny crumb of good news, but the best I could hope for this soon would be a good lab result (not need transfusion would be nice).

Other than that I'm coping, miss the energy and going to work, but between the chemo effects and the stupid snow, I'd be exhausted driving back and forth right now. Hopefully I'll perk up later in the week (or after New Year weekend).

Not much more to report until after see doctor. Keep those prayers and thoughts coming, they really help.

Love to all

Hospital Chemo day 4

Nothing much happening. No reactions, tolerating chemo okay. Not nauseous, but don't really have appetite. It's been wonderful having visitors, really perks up my day. I'm so blessed having so many wonderful friends and supporters. Really makes a big difference.

Just found out from nurse, that they are planning to release me on Christmas day!! Yahoooo!!!
Have to go in Friday for shot but it's the two week one and I'll still not know what's going to happen next week. Dr. G is pretty sick so another doc will probably stop by later to see me. Doubt he'll know what will be happening, but I'm sure someone will let me know.

That's about it for now ....

Love to all

Hospital chemo day 3

Here it is Monday (day 3 of chemo). All is going well. Day's worth of chemo ends around 11PM, so by the time premeds, etc, it's midnight or so before 'next day' begins. I think there is 5 "days" scheduled so not really sure what day I'm getting out of here or what happens after I do and next week. What else is new. All in all feeling pretty good.

Only thing is swelling in my legs. Dr stopped in this morning (with a smile ... heard he is in a goofy mood .... probably all that snow shoveling....hee hee), and decided to give me some lasix (more peeing) to help with that. Other than the swelling I seem to be doing okay. Got that blood the first day and so far so good.

Sunday was a little blue, but sky was overcast, but a visit from a friend who works here really perked me up. Even had the priest stop by (oh oh is Sue getting religion??? Well, may be a little I'll take whatever works right?). Felt much better in the later part of the afternoon.

Not much more to write ... good food, funny and nice nurses

Love to all

First 24 hours

Was admitted Friday and settled down. Tried my laptop (since KMC is supposed to be most wired hospital) and couldn't connect (low signal strength). I spent most of the evening trying to connect and waiting for IT person. Nice young man came in later and tried everything he could but we couldn't get it to connect. My card and antenna just couldn't do it.

Saturday Jim picked up a wireless card that fits my computer and we tried again. Still had problems, played around with it some more and had to call the tech again. This time (network was called Aruba!) and got the log in/password and was able to connect. Slow, but at least online. Still can't get my email, but I'm working on it.

Anyway, had an old friend who works here stop by for a visit (haven't seen her for along time), then later Lee and Wally brought me a wonderful flower arrangement and a great visit. It's nice I can have visitors.

I'm doing okay, seem to tolerate this first 24 hours okay. It builds up so the time to watch is day 3-4 for possible mouth sores or sore throat. As soon as I notice any feeling then I let them know and they'll give me medication.

Keep me in your prayers as always

Love to all

Bad News

Of course the huge dump of snow (34 inches in 24 hours) happend on the Thursday I went to do the labs, dr., pet scan, dr, chemo thing. Bad enough beginning. Jim dug the car out and took me in. Had all stuff done, and when went to dr. afterwards my pet scan results were in for dr. to look at. Here's where the bad news begins. The tumor was much bigger and of course full of cancer. There is also bone involvement now, and multiple lymph node involvement (there were 3 spots before didn't ask how many more). Any very bad news. Still not as bad as I was before the first treatments, but much worse than after them. He gave a 5-10 percent survival rate, but doesn't' believe in them because so much can be done to skew results. He wanted me to be admitted for hospital stay infusion. 5 days of 24 hour chemo. I could start Friday, wait the weekend, and maybe push over to the new year to start. Talked it over with Jim and we decided to start it Friday. Might as well get it over with. There's a chance I'll be out on Christmas day, but we don't know for sure. As to what waits next I have no idea.

Anyway the doctor still seems optimistic and hasn't ruled out the transplant. If he does that than I think that's pretty much it. But if he hasn't given up then I guess I won't either. Will just take me longer and harder pull to get to the end.

There was a cosmic message sent to me: I lost my cell phone on Weds. Thursday when I noticed it missing Jim let me use his phone. Called work and had Kari look in my room to see if I left it there, nope not there. When I got to the car called and again didn't hear it. Got home and called it and still didn't hear it. By now I was in a panic not only all my phone numbers were in there, but that was the number for all the medical calls. Anyway, I decided I'd try one last time. Put on my mucking boots, and stood on porch and called the number. WOWOWOWOWOW heard it. Called again (voice mail picked up) and tracked it to the edge of the parking space in the snow. Jim came out and went to where I had an idea and slowly shovel by shovel (2 tiny shovel fulls later) there it was at the edge in the snow. Could have been stepped on or more snow put over it at any time. Took it inside, took of the case and dried it .... IT STILL WORK!!!

I've decided that if my cell phone could make it 24 hours buried in snow and still work, then by gum I can still beat this cancer!

Love to all

Sue

My first

Well, had to get the 2 units (A-positive) transfusion on Friday. It took little over 4 hours. Wasn't bad, when it was all over I was tired (got benadryl along with Tylenol prior to the transfusion). Of course that was the evening of the first real snow storm this year. Anyway got home safe, didn't have to go in Saturday to get shot (Tues instead), so spent the day napping and relaxing. Since we didn't have to go in, Jim decided to do shopping on Sunday since he had to go in to look at someone's computer. Strange Saturday, but enjoyable.

I made myself something to eat and noticed it felt like something stuck between my teeth. I used a toothpick and tried to pry it out but it wouldn't budge. Took a look in the mirror and discovered my filling was loose (one between teeth). Just what I needed! Anyway it eventually slipped back into place and Monday stopped at dentist to see if I could get in before crazy Thursday. Have to get an okay from Dr. G before dentist will work on me, and of course he wasn't there today (Monday). And dentist is leaving at noon for a few days off (not that he doesn't deserve it), so only opening was 7am Tuesday and Dr. G doesn't get in until 8-8:30. Since it's between teeth I'm really not worried, but I'll talk to Dr. G (or nurse) tomorrow and get the okay.

Not looking forward to Thursday, only because of the time constraint (Dr. G wants to see me before AND after). After the Pet scan no problem, but trying to get everything done before I 10:30 when I have to check in for the scan is going to be pretty close. They want you to be relaxed and rested the day before. I don't think I'll be that way on Thursday ... LOL

Anyway, feelin' okay except for the usual morning 'crummy tummy' (slight nausea).

Love to all

Something new ... maybe

Thursday went in for bloodwork. Tech had hard time drawing (so what else is new). Waited over an hour for Dr. G (and labs) and found out my red count was too low for chemo (like last time). I asked him what normal was and he said most doctors liked to see 100, he prefers 150, and mine was 60. He scheduled me for neumega shots and more labs. If count isn't up to where it should be with Friday results, then I'll have to get a blood transfusion. If the count is up to where it should be then no transfusion. So I go in to a meeting at 8:15, leave at 8:45, get blood drawn (from my port this time by going to the treatment room), go back to work and wait to see if I need to go back for the transfusion (4 hours). As always there is dangers with blood transfusions, but what's the alternative. Same as with the rituxan. White blood counts were fine.

Then again for a shot on Sat & Mon. Next Thursday (18th), I go in for blood draw (again upstairs), then down to dr., then over to Petscan (11am), back to dr, and possible chemo. Long day ...

I did ask for Christmas week off (no coming in to town), and he seemed fine with it, but if I get chemo on Thurs I'm sure I'll have to get shots Fri, Sat, and again Christmas week (unless he gives me the 2-week shot and only 2 neumegas). Once again living week by week.

I asked him if this was normal (the low counts) and he said that with all the chemo, you don't recover as quickly as before. In other words it is NOT unexpected to have to have a blood transfusion and the slow recovery rate. He DID say (I didn't ask first), that I was doing GREAT which last week when I did ask he said I was doing "good". So that put me in a happier frame of mind going for my shot.

Will let you know what happens tomorrow.

Love to all

December schedule .. almost

Thursday had blood drawn, and saw Dr. G. Originally he had me set for just the Gemzar, but decided to give me the Oxyplatin as well (sigh, cold and fingers not happy with that one). He also scheduled me for Neupogen and the Neumega shots. Neumega only 2 (Sat nurse told me the second dose was a 1/2 dose), the Neupogen every day (except Sun) through Weds.

Thursday (Dec 11), he has me set for just Gemzar (depending on blood count) and probably another round of shots (sigh). Then the following week he wants to have me get a Pet scan. I'm thinking not only so he can see how I'm doing, but also to get me set up for direct beam radiation (sigh). I talked with the receptionist and we're trying for Weds Dec 16 for the pet scan (if the insurance will pay). It seemed to take 3-5 days to get results last time and that will get me into Christmas week. I really doubt (but who knows) that anything will be scheduled for then.

Anyway, I asked him how I was doing, and without hesitation he said I was doing good. The smile and quick response made me feel better and set me up for the chemo to follow. Went upstairs and mentioned the 2 infusions to receptionist. She was not happy since I was only scheduled for the 3 hours and with another infusion the time would increase. They close at 6pm and it would be close if not over time (not that they kick you out ... LOL). Anyway it turned out the Gemzar infusion was only a 30 minute one so I was done by 5:45. While I was getting ready to go, Maggie the social worker called (then came to see me) to let me know that the insurance 'would' pay for the Zevalin, and the Zevalin support net qualified me as well. If the insurance company pulls out the support net would pick up at least the infusions but may not cover the scans. The insurance time frame is Nov 17-May 17 (approval is almost always 6 mo. at a time). That sure took a load off of our minds. So ... now I'm covered for direct beam and radioimmunotherapy (that's what the Zevalin is).

Saturday slept a lot when we got home from town and today (Sunday) a little nauseous (guess I'd do better if I didn't have an empty stomach ... hee hee). Don't feel too bad except for the sort of queasy feeling, trying to get my Sunday routine done, but am planning a short nap to see if that calms my tummy. I've been able to down around 2 qts of fluid a day, harder now that I can't really drink anything cold. But will try to do my best.

Love to all

Hard week

Not a particularly good week. Think I must have had some kind of cold/cough since was running a low grade temperature, coughed a lot more than usual morning rounds, had a 'almost' migraine, and felt achy. Turkey day better but still spent most of the day laying down. Today at work for half day then back home. Feeling better but still not 100% I've got to force myself to drink more. Seems like all I get down is around a quart a day, should be doing at least 2.

Jim made Thanksgiving dinner yesterday (gotta love that man), we had turkey breast, mashed potatoes, green beans/zucchini/peppers saute, dressing, gravy and for dessert ice cream. It's amazing for two people who used to pack it down, we only manage to get through a reasonable serving.

That's about it ... not much to report, hopefully I'll be better this weekend.

Love to all

Slow improvement

Wow, really felt like I've been hit hard the last couple of days. Slowly seem to be gathering strength back. I kept waking up during the night. Gotta learn to keep my mouth shut when sleeping, it kept drying out and waking me up (LOL). Think the times I've felt the best were the nights I slept more than 3 hours at a stretch. Otherwise woke up feeling okay, day went pretty good so far. I'm tired, but not as TIRED as I have been. Figure I should feel better each day that goes by. I also need to drink more fluids, figure I've been drinking less than a quart a day and I should be drinking around 2 at least. I'll have to 'urge' myself (yeah know how that works). But I know I should be drinking more.

Anyway ... not much more to talk about. Looking forward to Turkey day (a Thursday that the only chemical will be TURKEY!).

Love to all

Bad Days

Went in for the second shot. Things went okay until around 3:30 when I started feeling pretty tired. Decided to work until 4 then head home. Worked out okay since Jim needed ride home (van at repair shop) and this way he could drive me home instead of him riding with a guy at work. Laid down when I got home and basically slept off and on until next day. Had a degree-plus fever, but not high enough to call doctor or take anything. Also had chills for around an hour.

Saturday felt better, but decided I'd stay home and let Jim do the shopping alone. Spent the afternoon napping and later in the evening the fever (still only a degree or so) came back so took a Tylenol around 10pm.

Thankfully I only was scheduled for 2 shots. Don't know what would happen if I had to do 3 in a row.

Today, Sunday, feel much better. Fever gone, and I might actually get something done.

Love to all

Suprise news

Thursday I worked a half day then went to get blood work, dr. visit, and chemo.

I offered my right arm since the left one still looked bruised. Poor tech couldn't’t get any blood out of it, so we had to go to the left one (still sore). Walked across the hall to dr. office, got my papers to fill out (‘anything changed’ and the monthly update for insurance/contact). Then did the laptop update (almost an exact repeat, but my dr. prefers the paper). Got weighed (up the pound I was down yesterday), and into the exam room to wait for doctor. Waited and waited and waited, oncology nurse saw me and popped in for a chat. We talked about food, Chicago (she’s from there originally), and she mentioned that it looks like January for my stem cell transplant. Other that that she really didn’t know what Dr. G. had planned next for me. After over an hour, the doc along with nurse. He said he consulted with Dr. K the radiation doc and the area he wants to have radiated is the size of a postage stamp (the tumor area, not lymph nodes). Still not sure if I’ll get it or not, but it’s better than 2 locations! No word on the Zevalin yet. He went on to say my blood counts were too low for chemo (borderline), so instead I’d be given a shot of Neumega to stimulate the production of red cells & platelets. If there was no reaction then I’d get another one tomorrow. He also wanted to see what my reaction was so if they needed to use it later they would know if I could tolerate it or not (transplant time). I asked him why the counts were low and he said “there’s this guy in a sweater who keeps throwing chemo at you” (of course meaning him). So it was not totally unexpected. Anyway they were borderline not rock bottom. Then he said I’d have 2 WEEKS OFF!!! Yippee … not appointment until Dec. 4, and then the chemo that I was supposed to get Thursday. He was in an exceptionally good mood, even joking! We did our 'hello hug" and then afterwards I didn't even have to remind him to hug, he did it automatically!

Today I woke up feeling pretty good, no noticeable reactions (rash, fluid retention, fever), so will go in for shot at 11:30. Then I’m FREE!! It’s amazing what little makes me happy now. Will really enjoy Thanksgiving now!
Love to all

Radiation Doctor Visit/Consultation

Went through the 'new doctor' stuff (history, weight, exam, etc). Watched a video about radiation treatment, talked to one nurse, then another, then finally the doctor (all asked same questions). The doctor was very nice, went through my original ct scan as well as the pet scan explaining as she went along. Ct showed lots of cancer, pet scan showed lots less, most 'melted away'. Thought I had 3 glow spots, actually 3 in abdomen and 1 in chest (Mediastinal tumor) for a total of 4. This means two locations for radiation instead of just one. Make a long story short, she said radiation therapy may or may not be indicated (risk vs return), but it's do-able. Abdominal radiation may cause intestinal problems (cramps etc) and the mediastinal (between lungs by heart) may cause sore throat. Daily doses (Monday-Friday) for 20 times (month). She'll talk Dr. G, then we'll all meet (probably). She did confirm that it appears I'm 'going in the right direction'. Asked for and got hugs from her and the nurse.

I may know more about 'schedule' (doubt it but I can be optimistic) after doctor visit tomorrow.

Still feel pretty good today. Think it's gonna be a good day after all.

Love to all

Another day

Went in today (Monday) for shot. No more until Friday. Little tired (mostly due to this going on for so long). Little tummy upset, but mint tea seems to help, still finger thingie, but really not feeling 'too' bad. Hopefully will perk up this afternoon, if not, 'tough' right?

Tomorrow should be a 'normal' day (whatever that is anymore). Would be nice to have a couple of weeks where I didn't have to think anything medical, but know better than that. Weds is the consultation, then .... don't need to go over that again.

I've decided what I want for Christmas (to be cancer-free), and for my birthday as well. Got the diagnosis for my 60th birthday, maybe I'll be lucky and get the cancer-free for my 61st! One can only hope and pray.

Okay ... done with this now ... time to get 'perky' again!

Love to all (and thanks for your patience).

Friday-Saturday-Sunday

Friday: WOW ... gotta love those day after gemox. Had tons of energy, upbeat and just a wonderful day (until evening of course). Wish I could have more days like that. Of course I still have the prickly fingers action.

Saturday: Made it through most of a trip to town (shot in morning). Sat out a couple of stores, but made it home okay. Evening was mostly sleeping. Still was able to sleep at normal bedtime. Pretty dragged out, but okay.

Sunday: Got some stuff done (done with the day of constipation, then today the opposite). Little nauseous, but not bad ... not enough to warrant my meds, just a lie-down. Rested most of the day. Was nice not having to go to town for another shot.

Love to all

Feelin' GOOD

Thursday:
Met with doctor (he was in a good mood) and he said enough stem cells were harvested for 2 infusions if necessary. My labs were good. He said he wanted me to go through direct radiation (danger of intestine damage), Zevalin (if approved and if after the first isotope test doesn't show it in my lungs, liver or too much in my marrow). We'll meet with the radiation dr. on Wednesday for a consultation, then he'll meet with her and then all of is will meet together to discuss the results. I may have both, one or the other, or neither. He said he uses the radiation doctors as a 'reality check'. I'll a shot every day (except Sunday) through Monday, then Weds the consultation, and Thursday afternoon another chemo session (just the gemcitabine so no tingly fingers and only 2 hrs). Then I'll get the one shot that lasts 2 weeks. He said he still didn't know how many rounds of chemo (2-6) I'll get and if I'll get the same chemical(s) or different ones. Of course I won't know my chemo schedule except week by week so any plans I have are on hold. Have NO idea of high dose chemo or transplant time either. Oh well ... what else is new.

He gave a percentage (don't remember if it is a salvage therapy, response rate, or what) of around 50% but said his rate was closer to 75% (yeah dr!). Gotta be good whichever it is.He also said I was going in the right direction (yeah!) and seemed very upbeat throughout the visit.

So ... when chemo session was over and I went outside I noticed my fingers felt as though they were getting pelted by icy rain (ahhh it begins). Put on my gloves and it was okay. Then later when I was peeling a piece of cucumber it felt like I was holding a very thorny rose! Ouch ... almost had to have Jim peel it for me. Even my water bottle (room temperature) gave me little ouchies. Have to watch what I pick up over the next few days ... very strange sensation, but if it's the worse I get then bring it on ...

That's about it for now ... Felt great this morning, riding a "steroid high" right now so getting a lot of things done (while it lasts). Got a super card from the staff at work!! Love those guys!

Love to all

Getting ready

Got a call Monday evening from dr.'s office. He wants me to have a consultation with the radiation doctor. I mentally freaked out for a second wondering what on earth he had planned for me, then remembered the Zevalin had something to do with radiation (isotopes) so calmed down. Meeting is set for next Wednesday.

Neck still sore ... but it will only be a week tomorrow that it's been out. At first I thought my lymph node was swollen, then remembered that when it was enlarged it didn't hurt. Duh ... 12" tube down my jugular for a week 'might' make my poor neck sore ...

Tomorrow begins the next steps. Not too concerned about the chemo (since already had that variety and know what to expect) or the Zevalin (since most reaction fears are from Rituxan and I've already had that). More concerned about when they do the high dose chemo (more intense reactions possible and the bone marrow gets killed off making me susceptible to infections (possible life threatening). Anyway, slowly getting myself 'steeled' for this.

If you want to read a good article on Zevalin head to http://www.lymphoma.org/atf/cf/%7B0363CDD6-51B5-427B-BE48-E6AF871ACEC9%7D/ZEVALIN.PDF

Love to all

Quiet weekend

Had a nice quiet weekend. Just did a few things around the house (shame on me I didn't finish my weekend chores). Neck still a little sore (just if I press throat ... yes I know, don't press throat). Little tired, but felt pretty good. I guess I should start walking or something to get some strength up for later on, but ... you all know me.

Doctor's office called and I'm scheduled for labs, then dr., then treatment on Thursday. Should find out what the plan is (I hope). Jim's planning on coming with me for the dr. appointment. I think I should be able to drive in and back myself.

That's it for now ....

Love to all

YIPEE !!!

It's out!! Thursday at 4pm I went up to the cancer center and the nurse pulled it out. Didn't look at it ... but was told it was about 12 inches long. Didn't feel anything except the blood when it came out. Nurse applied pressure for 10 minutes, then dressed it. I sat around for another 10 minutes, then a stroll around the treatment area (to check if wound seeping after a change in blood pressure), little leak so she changed the 'tape' to another kind. Had me sit for another 5 minutes, then another stroll & sit and then homeward bound by 5:15pm! It's amazing that something that put a large hole in your jugular vein didn't need to be sewed it. Vein 'seals itself' ... wow !!

Today (Friday), things going well. Planning on having a nice low key weekend.

Love to all

The Collection

Sorry this is a bit long.

Daily: 7:30 for blood draw at hospital lab, 8-8:30 two cgs-f shots in belly, then wait for cd34 results.

Monday:
Didn't hear anything until after 1:30pm when the oncology nurse called and said there were problems with the test and the counts (between 6 and 30). They were going to send them to another lab to see what the count was so continued on with work day by heading out to Rathdrum around 3pm to reload software. Was right in the middle of loading the software, when I get a call from the nurse saying the count was 98! Okay ... that lab normally reports higher, but wow ... She had me scheduled to go to the oncology dept to start the collection at 5pm. The procedure normally takes at least 4 hours. After the 'collection' a test is run to see what the platelet count is and if below specified amount I would have to receive an infusion. Anyway ... Jim stayed for a while, then headed home, and I ... well, there I lay having to remain still so the 'buffy layer' would remain stable. The machine puts your blood through a 'spin cycle' where it is separated into 3 layers with the 'buffy' layer in the middle where the stem cells land with other fluids. They really didn't want me to drive home alone, especially if I had to get an infusion, so we planned on me going to the hotel across the highway if need be. My 'buffy layer' was a little narrow and it took a bit to get it to collect properly (machine alarm went off when the layer needed to be 'chased'). My entire blood supply circulates through the machine 3 times during the collection. We got finished around 10pm and I felt fine. The blood bank nurse cleaned the machine (everything went through tubes that are disposed of), and then took off for Spokane to hand deliver (she needed to pick up supplies so decided to take it in herself). A bit later the results came in and I needed to have 40 or above for platelet count and I had 68 so home I went. Only took me 20 minutes ... all green lights, no traffic.

Tuesday:
Blood work, shots, and then to oncology department for another round. By this time my left arm was so bruised from the blood tests I had them try the other one. The collection was scheduled for 9am. Results from previous night was 3.5 and doctor wants between 5 and 10. All went smoothly ... stayed 'very still' for the 4 hours by watching cnn & dozing. Good collection, buffy layer was very stable this time. Platelet count was 55 this time so stopped by library for quick update, picked up Jim (his fan belt broke), and headed home. Was a little more tired today then yesterday. Heard from blood bank nurse in the evening that the count was 3.something and the doctor wanted to go again since the procedure was going so well.

Wednesday:
Blood work, shots, and again to the oncology department. This time had a different blood bank nurse (first one had day off), and she was all ready to go by 9am, so got about an hour head start. Buffy layer not so cooperative this time and she had to chase it a couple of times (even though I was still), but finished around 1:30. Thought ... wow I'll get a bite to eat then dash off to work and finally get something done! Guess again ... waited and waited and waited for test results. Nurse came in and said they were waiting for dr. g's okay for me to leave. Here comes 3:30 (2 hours past completion) and finally get the word it's okay to leave. My count was 66 today. Of course it was too late to do what I wanted at work, so picked Jim up again (had problems with fan belt on van), and headed home. Later that evening nurse called and said the collection was 2.33 and combined with other totals we were at 8.6 and doctor said that was okay. Yippee .. no more blood draws and shots for a while.

Thursday:
Yippee !! no blood draws, shots, collection!! Just waiting to find out when I get this thing pulled out of my neck (they can do it where I get the chemo). Talked with Sue H. the oncology nurse and she thinks I won't have to see anyone until next week. Dr. is off on Monday, today is already Thursday ... sooo the weekend OFF!!! Most likely will be starting a couple of rounds of chemo (probably Thursday), don't know if rituxan will be the same day, next day or what, but at least this collection part is done. Next 'worry' part for me will be the big one (high dose). Not too worried about Zevalin since most of the warnings are for the rituxan and I've been able to handle that so far.

That's it for now .... Love to all

Waiting waiting waiting

I hate this waiting ... I hate this thing in my neck. It's like a sore throat only on the outside. Finally have been able to sleep a little, so feel somewhat better. My poor left arm is so bruised from the daily blood draws that it hurts every time they stick the needle in (just at first). My poor belly is bruised as well from the double shots each day. (done whining)

Went in this morning for the 7:30 blood draw then over to the oncology unit at the hospital for the injections. Talked a bit with the nurse and found out the 'magic number' is 10! The most I made was Thursday morning at a 3. Saturday 1.something. The catheter is already in so I've got to live with it until the 'collection' is made. The nurse said to be patient and that sometimes the count can really jump up overnight. It's 2:15pm on Sunday and still haven't heard anything, but at least we didn't have to spend 5 hours hanging around town until we finally went to the oncology unit and asked (they called to found out).

Friday was really bummed out ... social worker called and asked if Dr. G had spoken to me yet. (no of course). It seems he has another plan (not to replace this one I guess, but a next step). It involves Zevalin, which combined with Rituxan uses a radioactive isotope to target the cancer cells. From what we read online most of the danger seems to come from reactions to the Rituxan (have been able to handle that well). The cost of the treatment is $26,000 and they want to get the paperwork started to find out if the insurance company will pay (she also said something about a safety-net in regards to cost). This totally put me in a tailspin (of course), so have been digging out ever since. I guess I'll just have to plan to have this transplant work!

Love to all

No Go Friday

Had the catheter put in Thursday (hate it). Slept in my recliner (not very well). Friday morning arrived at hospital lab at 7:30, had blood drawn, went to hospital oncology and got GCS-F shots, then had to head to work until 12:30 when oncology nurse called with the bad news. Seems my count went 'down' instead of up. Started at .7, then 3, now 1. Not good news. Have to go in Saturday (repeat Sunday). If my count doesn't go high enough, there is one more shot they can try (super GCS-F). It may be that the chemo (it's only been a week since I had it) that has my bone marrow taking longer to make the cells ... don't know. White cells keep going up just not the ones we need to collect. Hope the results get better, don't know what will happen otherwise. Kinda discouraged.

Will get dressing changed and catheter flushed tomorrow as well. Once again we have to wing it.

Send lots of positive thoughts of the results being what we want.

Love to all

Waiting for "collection"

Had 5 vials of blood drawn. Arm has nice 'bruise lines', should be fun with blood draw tomorrow! They gave me a "pretty" (not really) bracelet (square red with a number) on my wrist until all the 'collection' has been done. Dr. G. ordered all kinds of tests (think there was a sickle cell test too) plus my blood is getting typed. Found the hospital lab okay, and when I was asking for directions to oncology I saw the sign pointing the way. That's all I can report, now it's a waiting game.

Got my two shots and double checked downstairs about tomorrow ... Hospital lab @ 7:30, then dr. at 10:40. It's a long time to hang around, but maybe all the results will be in and if tomorrow is a 'collection' day I'm there already.

Feel pretty good ... only take (so far) 2 regular strength Tylenol (a day). Maybe tonight I might take one more before bed. I woke up at 2am a little achy but fell back asleep with no problem.

Love to all

Ouch

Well, day 2 of double dose of GCS-F. Two shots in the belly (not too bad), then off to work. Made it through the night fine. Only took 1 extra strength Tylenol and it lasted me all day and night. This morning, though, I took 2 regular strength. Feel kinda achy in my chest & back. Figured it would get worse throughout the day with the second double dose.

Anyway, so far so good. Wednesday will be even earlier since I've got to go in for bloodwork.

Love to all

Here we go!

Interesting side effects on the chemo ... only one I had was the "cold" issue. If I touch a cold item from 'fridge or freezer I get pinpricks on figures. To reverse just run hands under warm water and it stops ... obviously you don't want to drink anything cold as well (room temp okay). Another patient said it usually only lasts a week.

The 'pain' is I have to go in each day to get a shot of GCS-F (instead of neulasta). Just as achy, but they want to use that one since it isn't a 'time release'. The only other side effect I've noticed is a 'hint' of nausea (think it's due more to being unsure of what the 'plan' was and the cost), was 'up and down' mental/emotional last couple of days. Not depressed/sad/unhappy, just somber.

Wasn't sure if the insurance company would pick up the harvest & transplant. Just heard this morning that the they will pick up both the harvest & transplant. That meant I got a double dose of the GCS-F (gonna be an achy breaky day) Whee, at least the insurance/cost is one thing off my mind. So far this is all I know ... tomorrow (Tues), I'll go to the cancer center at 8am for another shot (single), then Weds over to the hospital lab so they can check the count, followed by another shot, repeat each day until white count high enough to harvest. Watch it will be on Halloween! Gotta be sure they don't get any 'gremlins' in the harvest. LOL I think they plan on doing 2 harvests, just to be sure they have enough. To harvest I go to the oncology dept at the hospital, they insert a catheter in my neck (otherwise vein may collapse) and machine draws blood/filters and returns all but the harvested stem cells. Just a local and I could go back to work afterwards (takes around 4 hours). The stem cells get processed (at our hospital) and frozen until needed. They used to have to send them to Spokane up to 8 months ago. Once they've harvested enough I will go through ??? number of chemo cycles (don't know yet), then will get the transplant (probably month or two). Now that a lot of the uncertainty is over (at least we have an approved plan), I think I'll be able to handle it without a problem (God willing).

Love to all

And so it begins again

Just got home after completing cycle 1 of the second round of chemo. Went pretty well ... took 3.5 hours (3hrs for oxaliplatin and 30 minutes for gemcitabine) referred to as GemOx. I'll be getting rituxan again next Thursday after labs and dr. visit. Only hassle is that I have to get a shot G-CSF (it stimulates the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells) EVERY DAY ! I'll head to the medical center before work during week. Saturday will be a trip in and Sunday Jim will have to give it to me. It seems to be another version of Neulasta (just not as long lasting) so the actual shot isn't bad, just got a little achy after neulasta.

Friday (tomorrow), we've got an appointment with the oncology nurse (they cancelled today's), so I don't really have much information yet. I'll try to post more tomorrow ... maybe by then I'll know how often, if I have both ritux & GemOx on the same day or if I'll have to go in on 2 days.

Anyway ... feeling okay right now ... will probably start getting tired in a bit, but hey, I'm at home anyway ...

At least I think I finally got my 'head straight' for this next 'battle'.

Love to all

Pulmonary Function Test

Results (from technician) are that I have lungs ... no just kidding.

On a couple of the tests I scored over 100%, and the one they were really interested in (after the machine kicked her out a couple of times and she replaced the valve and we tried a fourth time), I scored a 78. Over 80/84 is normal for the particular test result they are using . She said chemo can affect the results (takes a couple of months to reverse), or couple of other things, but as far as she can see I'm fine. Nice technician ... explained everything as we went along.

So ... got okay for heart and lungs, just this damn cancer residue ...Physically feel pretty good, emotional/mental still working on it ...

Dr. Chang will review and send results to Dr. G & Dr. Newcombe.

Love to all

Bad News

Wednesday Jim and I went in for my dr. appoint. Dr G gave me (and showed me) the results, that there was the large B-cell lymphoma in the lymph node that was biopsied. That means we go to step two which is high dose chemotherapy (probably GemOx [gemcitabine, oxaliplatin], and/or rituxan) and an autologous stem cell rescue (involves hospital stay). He said he’s still going for the cure. Now we’re waiting to hear from the insurance company before proceeding.

Jim went back to work and I went upstairs for another dose of rituxan plus a flu shot. My bloodpressure was the highest it has ever been at the doctor’s office, and only went down a bit when I got upstairs (I wonder why??!!) Afterwards I stopped at the library to get a ‘attitude boost’ and pass on the information. I spent the rest of the evening being depressed. Felt better later on, and today even better. Still not really chipper, but trying to get into the mind set for the upcoming treatments.

I’ll let you all know more as I find out. Probably not until next week.

Keep those prayers and good thoughts coming … I’ll need them.

Love to all

Piece of cake

Got to the Short Stay unit of the hospital by 7:30am on Wednesday. Was taken (along with Jim) to the intermediate area (prep/recovery) got into my fashionable hospital gown, had an iv started (using my port), and went over all the paperwork & record update. Once they were ready for me, we went into the CT procedure room (CT was like a mini-version ... just the ring area) and met with the radiologist and tech people. They explained what would be happening and that I would be under 'conscious sedation' and not really feel anything. Jim had to leave while the procedure was being done (CT guided biopsy). Wow were they right about not feeling anything!! I got on the 'table', and felt the skin on my back being rubbed (antiseptic) and the next thing I knew was them saying 'we're done'. Back into recovery for an hour or so while my blood pressure was being monitored, then over to Dr. Grosset and upstairs for treatment.

Dr. G suggested a pneumonia shot (which I got), and have a full dose of rituxan. Won't really know anything until next week on the biopsy results (hope for no cancer).

Called CDA group health to extend the referral to Dr. G (it's scheduled to expire Oct. 22) so that's one thing that's done.

Today ... Thursday, just a little sore on back since I'm moving around more and my arm a little sore from shot. Both are to be expected.

Will let you know more as soon as I find out, but 'planning' on having a good weekend. Weather might not be warm and sunny but after all, it's October!

Love to all

Biopsy appointment set

Heard from the dr.'s office on the answering machine when I got home. Sure wish she would have called my cell ... oh well. The biopsy is set for Weds at 8am. at hospital (outpatient I'm sure). From what dr. said and what I've read online a radiologist will preform using CAT scan or ultrasound. I'll have to call her Monday, since I thought I had a dr. appointment along with treatment (ritux and??). I'm supposed to have someone drive me so Jim volunteered. I thought dr. said it was like marrow test guess it's because I'll need something to keep me from moving during the procedure. Perhaps I'm supposed to do the biopsy, then go to dr., then upstairs for ritux (since I'm pretty sure the biopsy won't be analyzed that soon). When I had my access port put in, I went to get the first CHOP right after recovery.

Friday I was upbeat and my old self, but as the evening progressed and again today, I'm back in the "blue funk". I'll get over it .... just need to keep thinking positive thoughts right? Sometimes easier said than done, but I'll try.

Probably won't be adding any new posts until after Wednesday's adventure (???).

Love to all

Keep your fingers crossed

Jim & I went in to see the Oncology nurse Thursday and ended up talking with Dr. G. He said he presented my case to the tumor board and decided that I should have a biopsy on a lymph node (needle through back ... could go back to work after procedure. Just like the bone marrow biopsy). The result will show if it is actually cancer, or perhaps a disease, such as sarcoidosis, that affect the lymph nodes. At any rate, I'll be going in for another infusion of rituxan Weds, with a possiblity of chemo depending upon biopsy results. Doing some online research I even found some notations of 'false positive' results on pet-scans. At least this gives me hope that it may not be the cancer.

I haven't heard when my appointment for the biopsy is, but should find out sometime today (Friday). Will let you all know as soon as I find out anything more.

Love to all

Set Back

Waited 2 hours before saw Dr. G. on Wednesday. He went over the reports, circling and underlining then said it showed high results (not good). Next he looked at the actual scan (I watched from the chair across the exam room) and it showed glowing spots which indicate active cancer. I only saw 2 toward the center and 2 very bright ones at sides (he said not all indicate cancer… in which case I believe he said the bright ones were my kidneys), don't think there were more. But … the other were lymph nodes. He was very solemn until the end when I got him to smile at least once.

He went on to say that we have completed (or almost) step 1, and now since there is still cancer, we need to go to step 2 which is more chemo (heavier dose and possibly different drugs). He also mentioned an autologous transplant (stem cell transplant). We started with an 80% to 20% ration of treatment/results and as the treatment gets harsher it drops down considerably (my age etc). I had my Ritux infusion (drove myself to and from) afterwards felt fine (fell asleep during 10pm program).

Today, Thursday, I came to work as usual. Dr. G. will present my case to the Tumor Board for discussion, then Jim will meet me at the Medical Center for a consultation with an Oncology Nurse to explain things to us so we can get up to speed in terminology with next Dr. visit (Oct 8).

That’s all I know for now. If there is anything to share after meeting with Nurse I’ll post. Otherwise we won’t know anything until next Weds.

Love to all

Glow little glow worm ....

The Pet-Scan:
Thursday had to eat a low carb diet for the test. Managed to keep it down to below 60 carbs for the day (if the low carb pasta box didn't lie). Of course I stayed up until midnight instead of hitting the hay early.

Got up 2 hours early to get to the patient sign-in at the emergency room for my pet-scan. Had to sign in at 7:30. Got all registered and at 8:15 was 'escorted' to the mobile unit. After inserting the IV needle the tech measured my glucose level. It was 121 (should be 100 or lower with fasting), but it was within the limit. Then the other tech came and injected me with the radioactive isotope in a glucose solution. He said it was a very short lived radiation, and should be out of my system by 5pm. I asked about our 'kitties' and he said there shouldn't be a problem. Then I 'rested' in a recliner in a dark room for about 30 minutes, after which time the first tech took me to use the restroom before the actual scan. We got back to the mobile unit and I went into the room with the scanner. Took off my shoes and layed on the 'bed'. At least with the glucose there wasn't any 'funny' feeling coursing through my veins. I just had to lie there while the machine moved me in and out with long pauses inside the machine. Didn't have to hold my breath either. Whole scan took about 30-40 minutes. Hopefully it will show that the cancer is gone (or at least not active).

Next stop was to get a bite to eat and then to work. Handout they gave me said to resume normal activities.

The gals at work are wonderful. Diane got 'glow stick' necklaces for everyone to wear so we can 'glow' together (kept joking during the week that I would be radioactive and glow). I even got a necklace and bracelet. They are soooooo great and supportive! Ya gotta love them.

That's it for now ... Dr. appt and ritux next week. The report should be ready by then and I'll let everyone know the results (of course!)

Love to all

Tests / Results / Treatment / Another test

Well, here’s how the week went.

Monday: went for CT-scan, blood draw, and EKG.
Downed the barium an hour before (not too bad if you drink it fast). Got to imaging center at 9:15 and checked in. Had an IV access put in my arm for the contrast injection and went to the lab. Only difference this time when they injected the dye was more of the ‘hot’ feeling through veins. Last time it was mostly like a hot poker up my butt, this time it was more like straddling a radiator. Not bad, just very, very strange and thankfully very short lived.

Next went to get blood drawn (tech left the iv access in my arm so the lab didn’t have to poke me again … yea!). Got the blood drawn and then had until 12:45 for my echo. Window-shopped at Staples, then over to Shopko where I bought a pair of pants. Had a burger at Jack-in-the-box (slooooowwww order window .. now remember why I never like to go there). Enough time passed so I could go to the Heart Center.

Echo went good. Tech said I had a very photogenic heart! Couldn’t tell me how I was, but did say if I was bad she would have called someone in to look. Very good tech, she explained a lot of the images and showed me where they looked for possible chemo damage (valve leaking), which didn’t seem to show up on my images. Whole thing took about 40 minutes and I was on my way back to work to finish up day.

Thursday: Doctor appointment, results & treatment.
Jim took the day off and took me in to the doctor since I wanted him there with me to hear results of tests. Was amazed when I got in to see doc only 5 minutes after scheduled appointment (usually wait 30-45 minutes). Up 4 pounds from weekend (gotta do something about that when all finished), blood pressure up more than I like, but lower than last visit (it goes down when I go upstairs for treatment).

Blood work good (glucose down 22 points from last time), no echo results yet but he figured must be pretty good from what I told him while getting the echo, CT-scan results were some tumors smaller, others considerably smaller. The report had some concern about the large mass, but when Dr. Grosset took a look at it he said the way they measured it (in the long direction) showed it as more of a 2-dimensional rather than the 3-dimensional it really was. He pulled up the original scan and there was a major difference. He said the report had it more like comparing a ‘breast’ to a ‘pair of pants’. The first scan looked as if the mass was fuller and rounder while the second scan looked as if it had flattened out (long and thinner). Reminded me more of a filled balloon and then a deflated (but not fully empty) balloon. He said not to be concerned of what the report said about it. He then talked about radiation (I think maybe the report might have mentioned that as an option). His concern was that the mass (lymph nodes I think) were close to my bowels. The intestines move around, so that wasn’t the concern as much as possible pulmonary-something damage. I think it has something to do with the attachment to the bowel, so discounted it as an option. He also said that since a PET scan wouldn’t really tell anything different than the CT scan he didn’t think it was necessary. After he pulled up a flowchart, he said that the scan was mandatory, so he ordered it for me.

Things must be going well since he only ordered the Ritux and not CHOP. Have to do 3-4 (not sure how many) to catch up with the amount he wants me to have. Could have it every week or every two weeks .I opted for every two weeks to give me a break unless he thought I should go every week. He scheduled me for the two week one. He did seem pleased with the results (looked up from my chart and smiled) and away I went. Next infusion October 1.

Upstairs to the Cancer Center, and 3-1/2 or so hours later was outta there! Nice not having the CHOP. Everything went fine with the infusion. Blood pressure ended with 123/64, 98 temp (usually run 96-97.6), heart rate in 80’s, and oxygen rate at 98 (had a couple of times at 100! Never had that high … usually 97-99). Stopped for a burger on way home (didn’t have the lunch since I had a late breakfast) and chilled out. Took a nap for couple of hours and then of course later couldn’t fall asleep. Was going over and over in my head about what the doctor said and how to put it into words for everyone. Finally around 2am I went into living room and slept for 3 hours in my recliner, then back to the futon until time for thyroid pill. Sure don't miss having to take the Prednisone! At least without the CHOP my hair falling out should get a break. It's coming back, can't tell if it will be curly, but it sure is soft.

That’s all for now will post about PET scan prep on next post.
Love to all

Where has the time gone?

Wow ... another week gone by ... where did it go?

Saturday did another trip into town with Jim ... enjoyed it and slowly getting used to it. Don't think I'll go every week, but once or twice a month will be fine.

Sunday was putting away canned goods from shopping, and ended up reorganizing a section of the pantry. Put initials of content along with use by date on the can ends. Found a lot of them that were good until 2003-2006!! Had to hold myself back from doing entire pantry since every time I moved something I found another can. Decided I'd do a section a weekend.

Monday through Tuesday were 'as usual'. Eight hour days, then home.

Wednesday I worked 9-3/4 hours ... wound down pretty fast around 7:30, but all in all felt pretty good. Sure slept good (shame on me ... not much liquid intake ... but didn't have to get up so many times to pee during night).

Thursday had to go back to Spirit Lake with a keyboard and mouse (forgot to take usb set when I went on Tuesday to install new computer), but managed to do only 8 hours!

Friday (today) came in early for manager's meeting (I'm considered 'e-branch' manager), and will leave at 4pm instead of 5. I called the dr.'s office to find out if I do 'labs' on Monday, or Thurs before dr. appt. Labs, CT scan & EKG are all scheduled for Monday. Doctor appt & treatment (whichever he decides from results), will be on Thursday.

That's about it .... sorry I didn't update sooner. Will let you all know anything I find out about test results as soon as I can.

Love to all

Good day

Woke up today feeling pretty darn well ... chipper even! Hopefully it will last for the weekend. Plan on doing more sewing and 'stuff'.

My aches and pains from chemo/ritux have subsided. Never really bad, just annoying. I think most of it comes from the neulasta shot (and a little from the prednisone which stays in the system for awhile).

Not much else to report (does this sound a bit repetitive?), except the tomato plants are setting lots of fruit. Not much chance of anything getting big enough to ripen (freeze is only a matter of weeks away). At least they 'look' like they'll give us something. Pepper plants have lots of buds and not much else ... squash have a few leaves and lots of blossom promise. Oh well, we've got such a short season to begin with .. (couple of weeks behind Coeur d'Alene), that unless you have a greenhouse it's all a crap shoot as to what you eventually harvest.

Love to all

Another week gone

Another week coming to a close. Little more tired this time than last cycle. Fell asleep watching TV again .. what else is new ;) .. Don't feel 'too' bad, always get a boost when I come to work ... everyone perks me up so much. Today just felt 'off' in the morning ... better as day goes on ... think I just pushed a little too much this weekend and now paying for it ... oh well, things are bound to get better right?

Did a little sewing over the holiday, and have a bit more to do, then will be putting machines away for a while (want the living room back) ..

Not much else to report ..

Love to all

Cycl 6 done!

Thursday went in for blood work. Technician 'stuck' me and the vein blew, so she had to do it again. Oh well, that's the way it goes sometimes. Next stop was to Dr. Grosset. When finally called, went for the weigh in. This time I was down a pound from last time (at least it wasn't another gain!), blood pressure was around 154 (I only seem to remember the top number). I didn't have caffine the night before or that morning, so can't figure out why so high, but nurse wasn't concerned. Doctor came in and looked at my labs and said they were very good! He read I had completed my 5th cycle and I said I figured I'd probably be doing 8 cycles. He smiled and said he was a '6 cycle' / 8 retux doctor. He checked my lymph nodes and listened to my lungs and was very pleased with result. Wrote on my chart the dose for this cycle, and ordered CT, and EKG as well as the next chemo cycle (retux for sure and maybe more CHOP depending on test results). I then met with the person who schedules all the stuff. So Sept. 15 I'll do the CT in the morning and EKG in early afternoon. Then Sept 18 I'll do the doctor visit and treatment. I presume I'll get test results then (EKG I'll be able to see what goes on ... CT I'm not sure if they will tell me anything).

Since I didn't get upstairs until after 11:30, treatments ended close to 5pm. When came time for the retux my blood pressure was down to 115 (guess I 'run higher' in morning). All went well. We got home around 6 when I grabbed a bite to eat (prednisone needs to be taken with food). Was tired and felt 'off' ... I wonder why??? ;) Tried to get my fluid intake going and managed to get through the evening in pretty good shape. However .... I couldn't fall asleep until 4:30 AM !!! Guess it was the taking of prednisone so late. Got up at 6:45 to take my thyroid pill, then back to sleep for a couple of hours. Actually I don't feel too bad right now, but I'll be getting my shot today at 2:10, so if all goes as usual, I'll be feeling punky late tonight and tomorrow.

Love to all

Been a long time

Finally did a 'normal Saturday' with Jim today. I don't think I've gone to town with him on a Saturday since March (at least). Did our usual St Vincents, Goodwill, Big Lots, Fred Meyer and Super 1 .... BUT also went to Joanne's Fabric (bought material for Ava's apron), as well as a COSTCO run! Also went to eat at Chili's. Long day, pretty tired ... thought I'd end up taking a nap, but here I am typing away while Jim's doing his Satuday evening nap ... that way he can stay up until 3 or 4 am chatting with his overseas friends and doing a little Second Life.

Would like to cut our 'weeds' tomorrow, work on a computer at home, and maybe start Ava's apron, as well as usual Sunday chores. Bet I'll end up just doing the Sunday chores ... oh well .... I can always do it next weekend right? ;)

Love to all

Sue

Week worth of update

Wednesday:
Wow ... did my first 10 hour day! Didn't plan on it, but that's what it ended up being. Last two hours were working on a computer at Athol so it wasn't as if I were running around all day. Was tired, but not exhausted.

Thursday:
Back to Athol, software update didn't go as planned Wednesday OR Thursday. Waiting for new software to try reinstalling again. Regular hour workday.

Friday:
Still no software yet, will most likely get them by next week. Hopefully before Thursday's chemo.

Not much more to report.

Love to all

Hot - Hot - Hot

Spokane set a record high temperature (103) on Sunday. Hot hot hot ... not my cup of tea. Good thing Jim got me that air conditioner. I think we might have 'froze' it ... wasn't as cooling as usual, so ran it on vent overnight and this morning seemed to be cooling again. I don't do 'heat' ... I get really cranky, whine alot and a whole lot of other descriptions that you don't want me to go into. Let's just say it is a very good thing I was able to stay within my tolerance range ... ;)

Sunday I was able to finish Ava's blanket, so will get it in the mail to her this week.

Feel okay ... plan on working full day today. Not much else to report.

Love to all

Sorry!

Oops ... sorry I haven't posted more often. Let's blame it on 'chemo fog brain'! ;)

Saturday was Athol Daze! (99th anniversary of incorporation). Jim did his usual "Cake Walk" running. Deborah helped him this year since I was still tired from Thurs & Fri treatments. He said he had 10 cakes (12 is usually max since people 'wear out' quickly)

Sunday did the usual chores, felt okay, just still tired & achy. Kinda got in the mode for cooking so made some yoghurt.

Monday went to work for 7 hours. Was a little 'off' all day, but it was only day 4 after the chemo. Heard from an email friend on same cycle as I am, she said over half her lymph nodes are free of cancer (yeah!). Made me think about mine (kinda in lala land believing almost all of mine are gone). She's had a CT scan to check progress. Dr. hasn't mentioned anything about a followup scan for me (next time is cycle 6). Kinda figuring I'll go 8 cycles (have .. should I say HAD ... that big tumor), so that put me in a bit of a downer mood. Being at work perked me up so left in better state than when I came in.

Tuesday woke up feeling FANTASTIC! Had energy and was wide awake (day 5 of prednisone). Worked 7 hours, moved computers, tidied (did I spell that right?) up my work area and basically 'over did it". When I got home I had a bite to eat, then started watching the Olympics. Wanted to see the equestrian events and Phelps swimming for medals, ended up 'dozing' through all! Oh well that's the way it goes.

Wednesday felt better (not as great as the morning before), and put in another 7 hours. This time I didn't doze through the programs I wanted to watch! All in all a pretty good day.

Thursday (today) is starting out an okay day. Yesterday I didn't drink as much (sorry Dianne) as I should have, but it was nice not waking up every two hours to pee! Plan on doing 7 hours today as well.

As you can see, not a whole lot to report, but I tried!

Love to all

5th cycle over!

Thursday went through the regular lab stick, blood pressure was up to 155 (highest it's been for a while as well as heart rate higher. Nurse said it was probably from the coffee I had had earlier that morning), then met with Dr. Morich (Dr. Grosset was on vacation). Very nice and thorough with exam. Didn't indicate that he found neck lymph nodes enlarged (good thing). I mentioned that I had gained more weight, and he said it was probably from the steroids (he said it makes you eat like a horse!). Nurse said earlier that the cancer center never complains when patients gain weight ... it's a good thing. Doctor also mentioned my glucose level was a bit high (didn't ask what it was, but I know it was running high when I had blood work done before cancer diagnosis).

Then went up to the treatment center, and by the time they took my blood pressure before starting the treatments, it was down to 117 and heart rate was the usual. Guess it was a combination of coffee and anticipation of substitute doctor. IV's went good, and ritux started at the higher level and finished at the max. Started feeling 'very' tired about half hour before finish. Got home, had a bite to eat and felt crummy (tired, achy, and a tiny bit of nausea). By the time I woke up for my 2am pee, I felt much better. (Yes Dianne, I'm trying to push the drinking! hee-hee)

Friday went in for the neulasta shot and felt ok for the rest of the night. Saturday found me tired and just 'off'. Expected this, so wasn't surprised. Should be better tomorrow. Figure I can go to work on Monday and do at least 6 hours. Won't try for more until Tuesday, but should be able to do 8 hour days rest of the week.

Next cycle (number 6!) will be August 28. Figure I'll be scheduled for a ct to see what's going on before Dr. decides whether or not I'll be doing 8 cycles.

Love to all

Full days ahead

Completed my first eight hour workday on Monday. Was fine until about a half hour after I got home, then it hit. Not bad, just a good tired. Looking forward to another two full eight hour days before I get my 5th chemo cycle. Will head back to work again on Monday. I figure I'll do a couple of six hour days before I try more full days. Hopefully I'll have another two weeks before the sixth cycle (don't know whether I'll be doing six or eight cycles yet).

Looking forward to the fall since I figure if everything goes right, I should be done with treatments. Keep your fingers crossed!

Love to all

Enjoying respite

Was a little tired on Saturday (think the week caught up with me), better on Sunday, but got frustrated working on a computer (what else is new). Sure am enjoying not having to go for another treatment until next week. 'Almost' seems like normal (whatever that is anymore), except for the 'hair style' when I look in the mirror. Oh well, it will grow out eventually. The stubble is getting longer, but still not very dense.

Thinking about going to town with Jim on Saturday to do shopping. Haven't done that since last fall. Hmmmm ... starting to want/do sewing, cooking/baking, shopping ... does this mean I'm starting to feel more like my old self or that I need to quick do this stuff 'cause I don't have much time left? Think I'm gonna go with the 'old self' reason.

Not much else to talk about ... except our male 'hops' plant looks magnificent with all it's greeny-white blossoms. Tomato plants growing (don't expect any actual tomatoes .. too late in planting), poor little zucchini plants are a whole 1" tall (really really late in planting), but, hey, at least there was a minimal effort. ;)

Love to all

So good so far

Well, I've put in a full week (6.5+ hrs per day), and feelin' pretty good. Seem to tire around 7pm, but hey, I'm home and just take it easy.

Will be putting in another full week next week, then have a couple more days before I'm due for the 5th CHOP-R (well maybe not the 5th R). Still don't know whether or not I'll be given 6 or 8 cycles. Will have to wait and find out when I'm at that point.

Otherwise, not much to report except I'm really enjoying the windchimes Bill & Karen gave me. They are tuned to Tibetian Prayer Chimes sound. Everytime I hear them play I think of Bill & Karen. The sound is just so peaceful and a joy to hear. I find myself wishing for more wind so they will play more ... (patience grasshopper ... the time will come).

Bought "Little Mermaid" fleece to make Ava that car blanket (maybe this weekend ... we'll see).

On a sad note, our friend Victor (childhood friend of Jim's plus the one who inspired us to come to Idaho) , lost his fight with colon cancer this week.

Love to all

Wonderful Visit

Was okay that Wednesday evening, little tired on Thursday. Friday was a very good day, was able to get stuff accomplished around the house. Mark called from Worley and they arrived a couple hours later. Wow! Has Ava grown! It was so wonderful to see them. We made plans for Saturday and Sunday then had dinner and had a wonderful visit.

Saturday they came over and Gina helped me get the pattern cut out. Would have liked to do it with Ava but she's just too young right now. It was great to work on it with Gina! Wanted to make Ava a new 'car blanket' to replace the Winnie-the-Pooh one I made her when she was just a little thing. When I looked at the fleece Wednesday I was hoping to see 'princesses' or 'ballerinas', but only saw Disney's Arial. Didn't know if she would like that character. When I talked later to her she said she loved Arial, so I'll pick up the material, binding and make her one. I told her I'd mail it to her when I got it finished. Later that afternoon we headed down to the Lavendar festival where we met up with Troy, Sydney and Reed. After Reed finished his nap we headed to the lake where Troy took us all on a boat ride. Stopped at a couple of beaches where Mark, Troy, Reed, and Ava got in the water, did some stone hunting and had a fantastic time. It's been a long time since I've been on the water and it sure invigorated me! They told me I had a grin on my face that went from ear to ear. After we got back Mark, Gina, Ava, Troy, Sydney and Reed headed home to Hayden, and Jim & I headed to our house. I slept like a log!

Sunday I dropped Jim off at Silverwood where he met the kids and they spent the day on rides and at the water park. I stayed home and finished Ava's dress and had enough material left over that I could make the bag that went with it. They got back around 6pm and Ava tried the dress on. Had to make a minor modification (elastic little too big), but it seemed to fit her and she liked it. The bag was a big hit as well. Went out to dinner and then back to the house. Later when it got darker, Jim brought out some fireworks he had saved from July 4 and Mark put on a 'show'. Ava helped by bringing him the fireworks one at a time when he asked for them. She seemed to really enjoy the 'show'. When it was all over we went inside to gather up all the bits & bobs we shared, and it was time for them to go. As usual the visits (whether we go there or they come here) are always too short. BUT I LOVED IT!!!!

Early Monday morning it all kinda hit me, but I seemed to recover pretty quick. It was kinda like the after effects of the first treatment. I went to work, and am feeling pretty good.

Love to all

Tuesday:
Got to the medical center (Paige gave me a lift and bought me a bouquet of roses ... what a sweetie).

First thing was getting my blood drawn (tech or I moved and he had to stick me again) then went to see the doctor. It was his birthday so I gave him one of the roses. He gave me a big grin and thanked me. Next he checked my lymph nodes in my neck and underarms. He said he was concerned since it seemed that one in my neck felt enlarged. So he felt under my arms again, and then my neck and said maybe it was a neck muscle (I said ... yeah a neck muscle). After moving my head side to side he decided it was probably the muscle. (Wouldn't be a good thing if it was a node). He said I'd be getting the full dose of ritux today (750) and my next cycle would be in three weeks. (Receptionist marked me down for 8/7). That gives me 2-1/2 weeks in between treatments (Yeah!!! no going in almost weekly).

Was an hour late in going upstairs to the cancer center for the treatment and they ran out of chairs so I got a bed instead. The back came up so I could sit instead of having to lay down for the 6 hours. Got me started on the saline drip, then the CHOP and when that was done started the ritux. Since last ritux session went so well I was started on a higher drip rate. No reactions so every 30 minutes got bumped up to a higher rate. Eventually reached the max of 330 with no reactions! Was finished at 5:30. Long day, but everything went great.

Wednesday:
Went in for my Neulasta shot. Felt good so stopped at the library for a quick visit. Then felt good enough that I stopped at the fabric store and bought some material (Disney princesses) and a pattern to make a dress or top for Ava. Guess I 'must' be feeling better if I even consider doing a sewing project!

Tomorrow I'll probably get hit with the 'sleeping bug', but I plan on being more energetic for Mark, Gina and Ava's visit.

Love to all

Good week

Went to work all last week. Planned on putting in 6.5 hours and ended up putting in more on a few days. Was a good week, tiring, but good.

I guess I must be feeling better since I rearranged a couple of cabinets. The one above the 'fridge because I got tired of zip bag boxes falling on my head every time I opened it. The other, oh well, just didn't like where things located.

Having Mark, Gina & Ava coming this next weekend makes me want to get through tomorrow's treatments quickly. It will be wonderful to see them.

Not much else to report of any value .. things like dry skin don't seem to grab one's interest, although Terry told me Olive Oil is good to try. I did and it really helped (first I tried regular, then extra virgin).

Love to all

Little bit of everything

Had the ritux on the 3rd. All went well. Nurse said next time we could start at faster drip (good thing since it will be chop-r and scheduled for 6 hours). This always hits me the next day or two, which it did. The usual routine ... drink, pee and sleep for a day or two, then feel better.

Jim blew off some fireworks on the fourth (our 38th anniversary), saved some for when Mark, Gina & Ava come up as well as some for New Year's eve. Pretty good day ...

Slept most of Saturday (2nd day after ritux), and Sunday couldn't stand the grass (weeds really) being so high. Jim got the old rider mower running (it really didn't want to start), and after 2 hours of mowing (or should I say 'hacking') the weeds, got them knocked down. Hopefully next weekend won't be too hot so I can lower the mowing deck a bit and chop the weeds down a bit more. With hot weather and no watering the 'grass' should get nice and brown and stop growing for the summer.

Should be able to go to work this week since no treatments are scheduled until the following week. I'm kinda curious as to how the 'double whammy' will hit me. Hopefully just the ususal.

Not much else to report ... same old same old ...

Love to all

Short and sweet

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while. Nothing much has changed. Still same routine... treatment/sleep/work when possible. What's left of my hair is thinning. As soon as I get a 'bald spot' I'll put on a temporary tattoo. What I use will depend on size of spot!

It will be nice to have a break from treatments (7-3 ritux then 7/15 CHOP-R). Hopefully it won't wipe me out too much, although I'm hoping for the 2 week 'off' for recovery (unless dr. plans for me to have another ritux in between).

Had a fantastic visit with Bill & Karen. It was so wonderful to see them. Happy 42nd anniversary. Wish we had known beforehand.

Looking foward to seeing Mark, Gina & Ava later this month.

Love to all

Sleepy days

I was right.. The chop/neulasta hit me the next day. I slept all day Thursday and still managed to sleep at night (although it took over an hour to fall asleep). I think the Prednisone is hitting me harder each time. Thankfully I'll be done with this cycle tomorrow. Then I'll have until Jul. 3 to recover before the next ritux infusion.

The ambition is there to do stuff, but when push gets to shove I still manage not to get anything done. Ah ... such is life. Maybe if I can get more of a schedule down (1 week chemo/ritux 2 weeks recovery), I'll have more recovery days to actually accomplish something.

Love to all

Woo-Hoo !

Here's a picture of me with my new wig!

Got my blood drawn for testing, then went to see doctor. This time had to wait for the lab results before doctor finished exam. He said my lymph nodes almost were non-existent which of course meant they were normal size (not palpable). He also said my bloodwork was excellent and that I was healing beautifully! Huzzah!!! Then I went up for my 3rd CHOP cycle. All went well and 'fast'. before Dr. Grosset okayed me for the treatment so didn't get up there until close to 11am. Had the saline, then the rest and was finished by 1pm.





Took a little nap and am feeling okay. Not ready to run marithon, but it will probably hit me tomorrow.





I'm scheduled for another ritux Thursday next week and then the next cycle on July 15. This time it will be BOTH! That will be fantastic because it will give me at least a full week without any treatment. If everything goes okay, I might even be able to go to work 1/2 for the full non-treatment week!



Love to all

Catch up day

Took the weekend off from the blog. Thursday had a 'halo' migraine at work, Friday had 2 of them (never had 2 in one day), then on Sunday had another one. Haven't the foggiest idea of why, but will mention to dr. tomorrow. I've been lucky so far in that if I can catch it at the first indication and take tylenol, all I get is the 'halo' effect for around 30 minutes and no real headache (just the 'hint' of one).

Stomach was kinda funky, but still was able to eat. Just felt 'off' all weekend. Should have felt better since it was a while from Tuesday's ritux infusion, but who knows anymore.

Since tomorrow is a CHOP session, I doubt if I'll add to the blog until Weds.

Bought a wig for special occassions. I'll have Jim take a picture and post it for you all to see.

Love to all

Back at work (part days)

Was feeling good enough on Thursday to put in 5 hours and today another 5 hours. Only took 1-1/2 days to recover from the ritux this time. Hopefully it will continue that way. Will be getting another CHOP session next Tuesday. That seems to take a little longer to recover, but we'll see.

It is sure great to get back to work, even part of a day. It seems to give me a boost of energy. I still get tired, but it's the 'good' kind.

Love to all

Ritux day

Day went pretty good. Was able to take the ritux without much of a reaction (just got 'rosy' patches on nose and cheeks) and they didn't have to stop the drip. I was doing good until the last hour when I started getting really tired.

Got home by 2:30pm and took a nap until 6pm. Felt much better when I got up.

Not much to report otherwise except tried one of the district's new 'playaway' units. Way cool!!! Showed it to all the nurses and staff and everyone was very impressed!

Love to all

Fuzzy

Had a good day today. Went in to work for 4 hours. Tired but feeling good.
Tomorrow is the "r" day so am hoping that I feel better by Friday to put in another 4 hour day.

Had my head 'shaved'. She 'buzz' cut it. There is still hair, but it's more like "velvet" length. It will take a while to get used to it, but then again, I don't have to look at it unless I look in a mirror! I do find myself 'rubbing' my head since it feels velvety.

I ordered some temporary tattoos (for when all the hair is gone). Bought some butterflies, ladybugs, geckos, frogs and an asian carp (it may be too big, but I can always use it on my leg.

Love to all

Slow days

Not much to report for last few days. Kinda tired Thursday so rested up.

Friday went to work for 4 hours. Great to be back even for a few hours. Started to get tired at the end, but it was a good tired. Of course I fell asleep while watching TV, but hey, not much going on anyway.

Saturday was quiet, enjoyed "SUN" for a change.

Today a couple of old friends will be stopping by and staying for dinner. Haven't seen them in over a year. Looking forward to catching up.

Tomorrow I'm going for another 4 hours at work, and then try to get my head shaved. Never heard back from hairdresser, but the salon has 'drop ins welcome' so I'll see if they can fit me in.

Then of course Tuesday is "R" day. Hopefully it will go better.

Love to all

Another day gone by

Went in to surgeon today for wound check. A-OK in that department. Healing up nicely. Should be a week or so and be down to a simple bandage. Shucks ... he said I don't have to come back to see him about it again. (I will be seeing him later on after this is all over to take out my port access).

Still tired, but doing okay. Waiting to hear back from hair (ha ha) dresser regarding 'shave'. Don't know if I'll post a picture or not. Depends on how I look (am I vain???).

Love to all

Sleeping Beauty??

Monday was a sleepy day. Couldn't seem to get enough. Don't know if it's the weather or leftover from Friday chemo and Saturday shot. Oh well, felt good to sleep.

Hair coming out fast and furious. Think I'll make an appointment for next week to get a 'shave'. Then you can all call me 'baldy'!

Tuesday: Had the next part of ritux. Had minor reaction ... heart rate went up to 114 and had 'funny feeling' in throat. They turned it off for 20 minutes and restarted. Finished it okay. Started the day at 10am and finished the infustion at 2:45 then waited to see the dr. until 4:15. Another long day. Ready to take a nap, but it's 5:30 already ... oh well, will probably fall asleep watching tv (isn't that the purpose of current programs???).

Heading in again on Weds afternoon to see surgeon for wound check. He'll decide whether or not to keep the home nurse care. If he decides I don't need it anymore I'll be free!! Won't be home bound!!

Next sessions are both on Tuesdays. Ritux again on June 17 and another CHOP session on June 24. Dr. Grosset upping the dose of ritux from 300 (still partial) to 500. Guess the regular dose is 700. That means I haven't even gotten one full dose yet. Oh joy!

Love to all

New Picture

Just uploaded a new picture. Little thinner both hair and me!

Little tired today, think the predisone makes me sleepy at the beginning of dose. Seem to pick up energy later in the day.

Looking forward to maybe getting out of the house later in the week. Will see how the ritux dose on Tuesday goes. Should be done with the "homebound" nursing for my biopsy wound by Wednesday. If I feel good enough Thursday or Friday I might even go in for a few hours of work !!!

Love to all

Chemo & shot

Friday: Got to the medical center and had blood drawn, then saw Dr. Grosett. He said I'd only be getting the chemo (CHOP) today, and then on Tuesday would get the ritux. Since I had a severe reaction (low blood pressure), I'd only gotten a "baby" dose (little less than half). I'll get another small dose on Tuesday. Nurse said I'm scheduled for 8 cycles of it, but really will have more infusions since I haven't gotten a 'full' dose. Doc said it looks like my lymph nodes are continuing to shrink.

Next I went up to the cancer center and began my infusions. Finished around 3pm and Jim picked me up. Have to drink at least 3qts of water. I really pushed it and felt pretty bad. Felt crummy all night. This chemo round didn't sit as well as the first (cumlative), plus all that water meant I felt really rotten.

Saturday: Woke up and took my pills (predisone needs to be taken with food) and became nauseated after eating a piece of toast. Took an anti-nausea pill then Jim and I headed to CDA to the cancer center for my Neulasta shot. The anti-nausea pill seemed to help and a nap when I got home felt great. Got up feeling much better and was able to eat.

Sorry I didn't post this earlier, but was recuperating from the chemo.

Love to all

Sleepless in Athol

Nothing different yesterday so didn't post. Woke up at 3am (pee break), and then couldn't fall back asleep until 7am. Have no idea why, but, of course took a nap this morning. Feeling a little more rested.

Other than that not feeling too bad. Trying to store up energy for long day on Friday with Chemo and another round of "R". Not looking forward to 3 qts again. Although 2 qts don't seem to bad now.

Did notice my hair is starting to fall out now. Jim will take a new picture before it's really noticeable. When it gets to that point I'll go get it shaved. Don't know if I'll post a "baldy" picture. Will have to wait and see. I'm sure it will fall out faster after Friday's session.

Love you all

Echo day

Wow ... was that cool. Saw my heart beating, valves, aorta, chambers, wall thickness all 'live'. Whole thing took about 45-50 minutes. No sweat. They said my pictures were good. I am presuming since they (tech Susan and Dr?) didn't freak out, that everthing looked normal. Finally ... something that appears to be normal.

All in all pretty good day. Still tired from not sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, but felt better than the last few days. Hopefully it will continue so I can go into Friday's session in pretty good shape. I'm curious to see how the "r" goes. If they can't push it faster it will be a 'very long day' again since there are 3 other drugs that I need to get as well. Those took around 3-4 hours the first time.

Not much more to report ... will try to be a little more creative/entertaining tomorrow.

Love you all

Glug glug

Still pretty beat. Waking up at night every 2 hours to pee. You don't realize how much water 3 quarts really is until you have to drink it. It's a little easier to get down using the 'bottled water' bottle rather than the 32 oz mug they gave me at the chemo training. Maybe because it looks different. Actually I'm drinking one ounce more (big deal) since the bottle is 33 not 32 oz. If you think of it this is really quite an achievement considering I'd be lucky to drink 1 glass of water a day before this all started.

I'm taking afternoon naps trying to catch up on sleep, but once again, I still wake up after an hour or two because .... yep you guessed it ... have to pee.

After today I should be able to cut down to 2 quarts, but then on Friday I go for a CHOP-R so have to drink 3 qts once again.

Oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Love you all

BIG DAY OVER

The big day is over! Hurray!!

Got to the cancer center and checked in okay. They weighed me and I lost another 10 pounds (from dr. office scale). I now weigh what I weighed over 20 years ago. Still can lose more weight before I get to where I really should be.

Went to my little cubicle with the reclining chair where the nurse (Linda) did the access to my port for the IV's. She gave me 2 Tylenol and 1 Benedryl. After around 30 minutes or so she started the Ritux at the lowest of 5 settings. All was going okay until the time came to bump it up to the next level (faster rate). After around 5 minutes my forehead started feeling warm, then my eyes and finally my cheeks turned red. She turned off the drip until I returned to a 'cooler' state, then started it up at the lower level. When it came time to bump it up again, she put it at a lower number than the usual rate to stretch it out a little more.

Someone comes and takes blood pressure, temperature and oxygen level every 30 minutes. After Linda bumped me up to the next level (after about 5 minutes) I was checked again and my blood pressure started to go down. It eventually went down to the 80's over 60's (don't know exact but it was in that range). She stopped the drip and they checked me again after a few minutes, but my pressure was still very low. I was also a little dizzy when I tried to sit up (sore tail bone). After calling the dr. she gave me a liter of saline to bring up my volume. That took an hour. Finally my pressure went up into the 90's and the dr.'s nurse said to start it up again (regen me). Linda kept the drip at the level that no reaction occurred. She said she could bump it up again, but even though it will take longer it might be better to keep it at that rate and get the entire thing in.

Finally after 7 hours I was finished (in more ways than one!). They did give me a nice roast beef sandwich for lunch (11:30). Was able to get up and not be dizzy and we were outta there.

Poor Jim ... just sitting there all day long. At least he had his laptop, movies, and was able to use the center's wi-fi. He also got a break when he went out to lunch (they don't feed guests).

Quick stop at Super 1 where Jim bought me a bottle of water (33 oz) and homeward bound. Was too late to call library to let you all know.

I have to drink 3 quarts of water for at least 48 hours after infusion. I managed to get it in me before I went to bed. Of course what goes in must come out so every couple of hours thoughout the wee (hee hee) hours meant a visit to the bathroom.

Today (Sat) I at least have all day to drink it. Almost have the last quart finished.

Sorry it took so long to post this, but Friday I was wiped out.

Love to all

Busy day

Felt pretty good today so went out and visited the folks Hayden library and Athol library. It was great seeing everyone and updating in person. Was able to put on a 'sea green' pair of pants & cotton sweater (given to me a couple of years ago) that had been in my "someday it may fit" bag. Looked pretty good I think.

Tomorrow's the big day ... I don't know if I'll post anything, but if I'm feeling half way okay, I'll let everyone know how it went. If not ... well, tomorrow's another day (to quote Scarlet).

Of course, by afternoon it hit me, but a short nap gave me a little boost for the rest of the evening.

Not looking forward to drinking the gallon of water a day, but glub, glub, glub ... gotta do what ya gotta do right?

Love to all

Schedule closer

Getting ready for the big day (Friday). Found out they couldn't schedule cardiagram for Friday, but can have the Ritux anyway. Probably early next week for the cardiagram (takes around an hour or so). Then following Friday "CHOP" plus another "R" session. An all day session at the cancer center. Should be closer to setting chemo schedule by then.

Not much else going on. Miss everyone terribly ... hopefully I'll be able to come back to work (maybe not full schedule) pretty soon.

Think I lost a couple more pounds (will find out on dr.'s scale next week). I don't think I've weighed this amount for 20 years! Will have to dig out all my 'skinny' clothes (if I can find them). Of course they probably are all out of date but ... hey who cares I'm an old lady and can do what I want right?

Love you all

Lotsa stuff

Thought I'd take a day off from writing this (Memorial Day). Had such a great day Sunday, that, yep, you got it, I over did it. Made up for it Monday by napping. The visiting nurse that came to do my dressing change came at 8AM!!! A little toooooo early for my liking, but you gotta take what you can. Both Jim and I took a nap after she left.

All in all Monday wasn't too bad except for the payback for Sunday.

Since the first round of "CHOP", I've been able to eat. Boy, is that a wonderful thing. Still have to learn my eyes and brain think my stomach can hold more than it can, but I am really enjoying eating again.

Another big milestone will be Friday. They were going to have me start the "R" Rituximab today (Tues), but I needed the ecg(?) done first so it's been all scheduled for Friday. Test at 9:45, then over to the cancer treatment center for the "R" infusion. Keep your fingers, toes, eyes, ears, all body parts crossed and prayers/good thoughts coming my way for that. Let's hope I'm in the batch of people that can tolerate it well. Don't need any more problems other than what I have going now.

Go to see Dr. Grosset on Friday June 6, then cycle 2 of "CHOP". Guess I'll be alternating between "CHOP" and "R". Early appointment (9:30 for labs, see dr at 10, then upstairs to chemo infusion). Hopefully it will go as well for second cycle as the first went.

My biopsy wound is healing nicely and hopefully will be all better soon. You know how those things go.

Love to all

Pretty good day

Well, today has been a pretty good day. Managed to do a little around the house and not fizzle out. Hopefully tomorrow will be as good. The compression stockings aren't really too bad. They are really quite comfortable and seemed to have reduced the swelling in my feet and ankles.

Will be glad when this next week is over. Anxious about the upcoming treatment (whenever it is). Half of me wants it over with and the other half doesn't want the day to come. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to suck it up and step up to the plate. Take the days as they come. Not much else I can do is there?

I've had some concerns as to how to get to treatments (Jim can pick me up and take me home) once a schedule is set up, but I've been assured not to worry .... Thank you!

Except for having to drink all this water and waking up to go at 2 am, 4 am and 6am, it's been a pretty good couple of days.

Oh, by the way ... found out the birds wake up and start singing at 4am each day! Nice, but not if you're trying to fall back to sleep. Guess I'll learn to ignore or enjoy.

Love you all .... thank you for being here for me.

BIts and pieces

Well, I guess I'm going through another stage ... the "is it really happening to me" stage ... It seems like I'm sitting back watching this happen to someone else, then wham ... it isn't someone else it's me! Of course that brought on the weepy again, but it was just a short one. Jim is so good at comforting me at those times. We'll just have to take it day by day. Knowing that this is 'normal' really helps, but it still seems unreal.

Today my blood pressure was the lowest it's been in a while (very good), and pulse was lower as well. Actually didn't feel too bad, but still felt crappy. Can't quite figure that one out. Couldn't fall asleep last night until the "wee" hours (literally) of the morning. Fell asleep listening to my ocean waves (gosh ... more water!!) no wonder I had to get up and pee (LOL)

Got my 'compression stockings' yesterday (feet swelling) and the visiting nurse (she changes my wound bandaging) helped me put them on. I thought I'd hate them, but they really don't feel bad. Will take them off tonight and put on again in morning.

Still apprehensive about the "R" next week, but guess I'll just have to muddle on. They say the first dose is the most dangerous.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers
Love you all

Feaked out but holding

Hi all,

Today I spent most of the afternoon at the surgeon's office. My port looks fine and my biopsy wound is looking much better. Tired, but okay. Looking forward to the weekend and napping (dr. appointments kinda spoiled my afternoon naptime).

Apprehensive about next week and the Rituxan. Did some surfing and it scared the heck out of me with the side effects at time of IV. After freaking out for a while, Jim took a look at the literature that was given at the time of our Chemo Training, and it calmed me down a bit. Still, will be a scary time. Fever, chills are mostly expected, but there are a whole bunch of others that may occur in 10-29 percent. Then there is all the water you have to drink because of possible damage to kidneys due to the dead cancer cells. Heart problems a possiblility a couple of days later. Think this scares me more than the CHOP cycle.

Haven't been given the treatment date yet. Since Monday is a holiday I know I won't hear anything until Tuesday.

Love to all

Exhausting day

Totally exhausting day. Felt better than in days, but that was before Dr. appointment. Waited for blood to be drawn, then for dr. to see me. He checked my neck lymph node and smiled. Said it was reduced. Which means it looks like the lymphoma is repsonding to the chemo. Still lumpy under arm pits, but it's only been one round. Keep your fingers crossed, looks like I may be in the 80 percent (so far).

He wants to start me on Rituxan (part of CHOP-R) next week. It can have nasty side effects. Also wants me to get an ultrasound of my heart (forgot the name). So more tests in the works.

Good note ... he left smiling.

Will post more tomorrow, I'm really wiped out. Been a very busy day.

Love you all